I’m not sure why, but I’ve been secretly dreading this birthday.
I’m not usually afraid of aging. I don’t wear much make up and like to go au naturale. It’s not about losing my sexy, young 20-something me. I gave up on that a long long time ago. I’m actually in a much happier place now mentally, so why go there?
I don’t know why I’m not happy about the number 46. Maybe just because this one is falling on hump day, smack in the middle of the week. I also have to work and had a doctor’s appointment.
It started out okay as I ran to the DMV to get my driver’s license renewed. Sitting in the waiting room, which is like Walmart meets the hospital, was a little icky. I had forgotten my phone and had no entertainment except watching the numbers change on a big screen as people were called up. A biggish guy with side-whiskers sidled up next to me, wearing a Harley t-shirt and only swim trunks (these are NOT legit clothing, guys.) He didn’t even pretend to not be staring at my chest. I was embarrassed for him. But it is over and done and they captured a cool shot of me that looks like the mug shot of a mom on meth.
Then I decided a run might be a good idea. I was slated to do 4.5 by Hal Higdon. I started out kind of wheezy and about one mile in decided it was a lot hotter out than it had looked. It was overcast but probably already 85 out. I was wishing I had either consumed more water than coffee this morning, or brought my water belt. But I stuck with it, even when I hit a total wall at 3 miles thinking about the hills. Then I had a brilliant idea: I would run 4.6 miles since I was turning 46! Somehow it was just not a good day (ate the wrong breakfast or the hydration equation) and by the time I got near my house I felt like puking. This is all kind of sad as I had also thought it would be neat to run 4.6 in 46 minutes. That was NOT for today.
So I pulled into my driveway dry heaving and stopped the clock. 4.37 miles. I kind of shrugged it off, made myself Gatorade and took my dog for a slow walk to cool off. Then my stupidly stubborn competitive spirit kicked in as it started pouring rain–Rose (dog) and I decided would run the last .3 miles home to complete what I had said I would do in my head. Yes, I ran 4.8 today, so I did my 4.6. I know you are all breathing a huge sigh of relief for me
Then I got home and thought, “Hey, one Madmen episode is about 46 minutes. What if I got on the bike trainer for 46 minutes?” and I did. By the time I got off the bike I was so sweaty I felt like I’d been swimming. Fortunately I did not have time to go swim 46 minutes as I had my doctor’s appointment, or I probably would have like the maniac I am.
Ah, the doctor’s appointment. First she let me know that they botched my thyroid test and forgot to run the T3, so she asked if I was okay doing that again. Then we were going to take care of unfinished business–taking my IUD out. Is this beginning to sound like a birthday party? Just WAIT!
She let me know it would be a fast procedure. I asked the nurse if I could go to the bathroom and she let me leave the room to do that. I came back and the doctor said that it was too bad I had gone to the bathroom because she needed to run a pregnancy test. I assured her that I was not pregnant, and when she looked skeptical I told her it would have to be a Virgin Mary situation. I am NOT pregnant.
Then she started in on the business. When she seemed to be having some issues I warned her that I have a tipped uterus. She got a bigger speculum, thought she had the “strings” and started to pull and then panicked. She called a staff doctor in to help. He pinched my butt with a speculum (yes, now that is a birthday present and has never been done before) and finally got the darn thing out. I won’t go into details, but it was messy and not fun.
I was feeling a little low sugar at that point so I headed to “Molly’s Cupcakes” to use a gift certificate that a really nice adult student had given me.
I’m now the proud owner of a gluten-free cupcake and two fabulous chocolate and chocolate nutella cupcakes for Ballet Boy. I’m going to make some GF pizza tonight and it will be a party! Au revoir 45 and welcome 46.