Fighting the coffee beast

Yesterday I had a horrible run. It was the first since my half-marathon. My legs felt heavy, my ankle hurt (which is why I’d taken a week off) and my lungs felt raw. Worse, I had a stitch the whole way. All weekend I had been working with a symphony 60 miles from home, which meant lots of meals on the go and coffee.

Lots of coffee.

My stomach was in pieces yesterday. That is when I had the brilliant idea to quit. Cold Turkey. No more coffee. I’ve had acid reflux for years so it just makes sense.

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Except that it is so hard. I’ve got all sorts of excuses up my sleeve, including being a single mom, working at night, loving the taste, being tired…but they are all less important than me feeling alive. Feeling pain-free. Feeling in control.

Day One has been scary. First I went back to bed for two hours. Last night I had slept badly and was exhausted:  I had bad dreams about being pursued and was woken by my son this morning at the very moment I was hiding in a locker. Someone (bad guy?) was standing outside breathing and watching me. It was probably just Ballet Boy wondering why I hadn’t gotten up and started breakfast.

So, I felt justified after working like a maniac all weekend to go back to bed. Then I realized I needed to do some scoring for Pearson. After 3 cups of tea I was in front of my computer, with a blaring headache.

Things I’ve done to try and forget the headache today:

  • Made vegetarian chili.
  • Made apple pie (epic fight with a gluten-free crust mix resulted in the pie being Dutch and not covered. Glutino, your pie crust is a FAIL!)
  • Made corn bread (because I realized I didn’t have rice to go with the chili)
  • Graded two Pearson portfolios
  • Taught 4 lessons in a complete fog/headache zone
  • Power napped at least 5×5 minutes.

What I’ve learned is that I really don’t feel comfortable with the idea of how addicted I have become to coffee. I know tea still has caffeine, and maybe someday I can eliminate it all, but right now I’m just fighting this coffee beast that keeps trying to tell me I need it, that I want it. How did this happen?!

Wish me luck, it may be a long, grumpy week, but I really want to overcome this bad habit!

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3 Replies to “Fighting the coffee beast”

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