Yesterday I had a horrible run. It was the first since my half-marathon. My legs felt heavy, my ankle hurt (which is why I’d taken a week off) and my lungs felt raw. Worse, I had a stitch the whole way. All weekend I had been working with a symphony 60 miles from home, which meant lots of meals on the go and coffee.
Lots of coffee.
My stomach was in pieces yesterday. That is when I had the brilliant idea to quit. Cold Turkey. No more coffee. I’ve had acid reflux for years so it just makes sense.
Except that it is so hard. I’ve got all sorts of excuses up my sleeve, including being a single mom, working at night, loving the taste, being tired…but they are all less important than me feeling alive. Feeling pain-free. Feeling in control.
Day One has been scary. First I went back to bed for two hours. Last night I had slept badly and was exhausted: I had bad dreams about being pursued and was woken by my son this morning at the very moment I was hiding in a locker. Someone (bad guy?) was standing outside breathing and watching me. It was probably just Ballet Boy wondering why I hadn’t gotten up and started breakfast.
So, I felt justified after working like a maniac all weekend to go back to bed. Then I realized I needed to do some scoring for Pearson. After 3 cups of tea I was in front of my computer, with a blaring headache.
Things I’ve done to try and forget the headache today:
- Made vegetarian chili.
- Made apple pie (epic fight with a gluten-free crust mix resulted in the pie being Dutch and not covered. Glutino, your pie crust is a FAIL!)
- Made corn bread (because I realized I didn’t have rice to go with the chili)
- Graded two Pearson portfolios
- Taught 4 lessons in a complete fog/headache zone
- Power napped at least 5×5 minutes.
What I’ve learned is that I really don’t feel comfortable with the idea of how addicted I have become to coffee. I know tea still has caffeine, and maybe someday I can eliminate it all, but right now I’m just fighting this coffee beast that keeps trying to tell me I need it, that I want it. How did this happen?!
Wish me luck, it may be a long, grumpy week, but I really want to overcome this bad habit!